July 28
This is hard. Really, really, overwhelmingly hard. Don't get me wrong--the school and the people here are top-notch! It's not that I regret coming here.
I'm struggling with weariness after moving across the world. I'm struggling with the daunting task of teaching a completely new-to-me curriculum. I'm struggling with not having my classroom set up in anyway, shape, or form. I'm struggling with being strong and encouraging for our kids when they're tired and overwhelmed. I'm struggling with mommy-guilt now that I'm not able to be the same mom to our kids that I've been able to be for the last 11 years. I'm struggling. I still believe God led us here, despite my struggles. I'm relying on Him to shine through my struggles--soon.
I almost didn't post this. I tend to be a private person, and being vulnerable with others is not something I do regularly. But I need prayer for myself and for my family. Thankfully, the kids and Seth seem to be adjusting better than I. I just need to catch up to them in this regard. We're here by God's design, for His purpose even when it's hard to see that.
On a more positive note, I attended chapel for the first time in my professional career. Tears. Fortunately, I was able to contain them for the most part. Seth may have been the only one who noticed. I stood next to my husband and sang worship songs with members of His international church. Powerful praise. I'm looking forward to more of those moments.
Prayers for us:
-Thanks that the kids are doing so well as they get shuffled around to different places while Seth and I have school meetings.
-Thanks to those who cared for our children: Carli, Raema, John, and Cindy.
-Peace and reduced stress regarding the upcoming school year.
-Pray for the students who will be in our classes.
-Pray that our family finds a comfortable "new normal" soon.
I know this is a couple weeks ago already, but I just wanted to say that I sooooo get this, Val. It's completely okay to feel overwhelmed and weary, and to struggle, to be discouraged, even as you know you're where you should be, doing what God's called you to do in this time. It's hard stuff! Read the Psalms. No need to paint a rosy picture, and as I am learning, when you ask for help, and ask for prayer - you are lifted in ways you didn't even know were possible. One day, one moment at a time. It's so cool to read your words and feel like we are learning similar things. Hang in there! It'll come together.
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